What to Do and Say When You Don’t Know What to Do and Say
Supporting Others Through Tough Times
Sitting around the lunchroom table at work, the usual banter and lighthearted chatter ensued. It consisted mainly of complaining about the workload, whining about this manager or that manager, and ribbing each other for the various mishaps that occur at work — all friendly, of course.
Politics and religion aren’t discussed.
“My husband and I separated this week,” said one lady out of the blue.
Well, the room fell silent; people were suddenly staring at the floor, and if there had been crickets in the room, you would have heard them chirping. This lady had committed the cardinal sin — she had mentioned something painful, and now everyone was uncomfortable and at a loss for what to say.
Finally, in a heroic attempt to break the tension, I piped up. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything we can do to support you at the moment?” I like to think I threw a lifeline to a sinking ship of social discomfort.
Reflecting later on this lunchroom incident, it occurred to me that although hurting people need help and emotional support, we often retreat from them because we feel ill-equipped when it comes to supporting someone who is going through grief, pain, or…
